


No Bun Intended

by natmoose



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bakery, Baker Dean Winchester, Crack, M/M, Pure Crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-21
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-07-15 05:51:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16056848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natmoose/pseuds/natmoose
Summary: An unusual request for baker Dean





	No Bun Intended

**Author's Note:**

  * For [whelvenwings](https://archiveofourown.org/users/whelvenwings/gifts).



> This is pure crack, written mostly at 3 am.
> 
> This is also for Emily (whelvenwings), you're an incredible human so here is a thing for you! Happy Birthday!

 

The fact that Castiel had to clarify what he meant by  _ jiggly _ was absolutely ridiculous.

“I just want to make sure I heard that right, sir-”

“Yes. Jiggly green butt cakes. Please don’t make me explain this again,” Castiel said. He was aware of how confusing the request might seem, but he refused to give context. He just knew those cakes had to be perfect.

He raised his eyebrows at the baker taking his order, who looked very lost and confused, holding the notepad that now said green  _ jiggly butts - jelly? _ . He also looked very handsome but that was beside the point.

The baker, whose name was Dean from what Castiel could tell from the nametag on an apron that proudly exclaimed:  _ Flour Power!  _ (The flour must definitely have some power, seeing as it managed to get on both of the baker’s cheeks which Castiel totally did not want to wipe away)

“When are you going to need those by, sir?” 

\---

The next day arrived and Castiel made his way to the bakery, excited for what would obviously be the best cakes in the entire event. They would of course be a surprise for the guests. The butts would sneak out of nowhere; the highlight of the evening. 

Entering the bakery, Castiel made his way to the register while admiring the beautiful  mango  banana yellow wallpaper with intricate starship designs. The engines of the starships seemed to spout some very wrong mathematical equations, but Cas paid no further mind to it, as the slightly frazzled looking baker from his last visit exited the back room to greet him.

“Hello Dean, I’m here for my order - the green jiggly butts,” Cas said, noticing that Dean was blushing, probably from the heat of the back room. Obviously. It was very hot here now that he thought about it, so he started taking off his trench coat. Dean looked like he was about to faint. Weird.

Dean cleared his throat after making a sound which resembled a dying walrus. Not that Castiel knew what a dying walrus sounded like, but he’d imagine it would not be a pretty sound. Unlike the baker, who was very pretty.

“Yes sir, I have your order ready. I must inform you though, that unfortunately there has been a little accident,” Dean said. 

He turned around instead of elaborating further, in order to pull out the tray table with wonderfully jiggly green looking butts. They seemed to be perfect. Castiel squinted and took a step towards the tray to take a closer look. After all, he needed to inspect his purchase.

He didn’t count on the fact that Dean would step in the way of him and the goods, so they ended up standing there, almost nose to nose. A very freckled and nice nose as far as Castiel could tell. But still in the way of what Castiel had initially wanted to inspect. Not that the face was a bad thing to inspect. Dean winked, probably to get some dirt out of his eye.

The pause was starting to get quite awkward and Dean started to speak again: “Sir-”

“Castiel,” Castiel said.

“What?”

“My name is Castiel,” Castiel clarified. 

“Okay so Castiel, as I mentioned there has been a little accident. I wanted to inform you that we can of course re-do the order if you would like us to,” Dean said. He seemed to be slightly nervous while talking to Castiel and also took a step back to reveal the jiggly butts.

“We dropped a cookie tray.” Dean grabbed the back of his neck. “And the cookies kind of-” he gestured to the butts “-well you can see for yourself.”

Castiel saw, and he saw that it was good. The creation before him filled him with joy.

“How much?” He asked.

Dean was noticeably startled, but hastily moved to the register after receiving a questioning eyebrow from Castiel.

“That will be ninety-nine ninety-nine for this special order. But actually, I’m going to give you a discount since you’re a first time customer and -” Dean gave him a significant looking glance. Castiel wasn’t sure what it meant but it made him feel tingly all over.

“Your end total will be eighty-nine ninety-nine,” Dean finally said. 

Castiel pulled out his wallet. It was a very large wallet, from which he pulled an equally large coin bag. He counted up the exact amount ( it took him no longer than 15 minutes, he was an expert after all) and handed it to the baffled looking baker. To top it off, he took out a 20 dollar bill and put it in the tip jar that said  _ We Knead the Dough.  _

Dean raised an eyebrow. “It’s for the cookies in the butts,” Castiel explained, as if it wasn’t obvious. 

“Well thank you for your purchase Cas, we’ll have your butts ready for the event,” Dean said, a smile a bit warmer than a usual customer service smile on his face. 

“Goodbye. See you there, Dean,” Castiel said, with a smile matching Dean’s and walked out of the bakery. He was glad that the jiggly butts were as perfect as he imagined. 

He knew that this bakery would become a success and he couldn’t wait to bombard his husband with more strange baking requests in the future.

 

For now he had to get back home to dress for the official opening of Dean’s bakery ( _ For Goodness Bakes) _ that would take place in the evening. He smiled as he remembered their conversation from a few days ago.

 

_ Cas, babe, I just don’t know what to bake for the opening. I mean, it has to be something special right? - Cas, why are you grinning like that? _

_ Don’t worry Dean, I think I have just the idea. I will pretend to be your first customer. _

_ Cas, no. _

_ Cas, yes! _

 

(Castiel was also looking forward to Dean confronting him about the emptied swear-jar)

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this!


End file.
